I bless you with the stubborn conviction that you are not doing this wrong For there is no right way to do this. There is only your way- Only what resonates with you and what doesn’t Only what works for you and what doesn’t Only what feels true to you. May you see your own integrity and look at it the way a parent looks at their toddler in their first ballet recital. And when a tidal wave of rage, bitterness, fury, grief, or betrayal towers over you and you're tempted to run or numb, May you close your eyes, throw open your arms and welcome all of it to wash over you with radical acceptance. May you greet waves of joy, pleasure, self-love and freedom with equal acceptance when they come (and they will come). When someone orders you to do something your conscience says 'no' to? May you throw a tantrum with the fury of a two-year old who doesn't want to put on their shoes. When you crave yoga, do yoga. When you desire meditation, meditate. And when you need a tennis racket, a pillow and a few choice expletives? May you explite. And when someone who is disappointed in your chosen path hands you an icy ball of shame to hold? May you not even flinch. May you let that shame ball slide off your lap without so much as glancing at it. May the warm glow of self assurance and compassion melt the frost into a puddle at your feet, may it evaporate entirely from the knowledge burning deep in your toes that you have nothing to be ashamed of. When the branches of who you once were lose their leaves and you want to hide. I bless you with the courage to expose your naked branches to the world without apology. May you find refuge in the company of those who understand, accept and validate. May you know you are good. May you greet your own goodness each day like a child greets their dog after vacation- may you scratch its ears and let your innate, unearned wholeness caress your scarred hands in warm spittle. I bless you with the ability to look back at your past and forgive yourself of all that seeks forgiveness with the tenderness of a thousand Oprahs. May you rest and surrender into the knowing that you are worthy of rest. May you find that mute button within yourself that switches off the voices and opinions of friends, parents, Facebook, societal expectations, bishops and partners. May you discover your own voice in the remaining silence and offer it a red throne of silk to rule and reign over your inner house forever amen.
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